woke up friday at 2 am and tried lying down again around 4 but something strange was fluttering all over my midsection, heart gut etc. i tried to ignore it for as long as i could but, as usual, my brain wouldn’t shut up and it kept going back to DN. She’s in trouble, hurting, scared, needs help; fuck I don’t know I just know the feeling to connect with her was overwhelming so I sent a txt asking if she was OK. she replied and i felt a weight lift off of me like i can’t remember for a long time.
just the reply to a txt after not replying to txt or emails for over 2 weeks was amazing but she said love you, yes she says it to everyone she talks to so it is probably automatic and doesn’t mean that much, but it meant the world to me. all of a sudden i could think again, i could see in color, i smiled, i heard music, i could smell, it was what i had been longing for since she msg me on sunday, just approval that i am still loved.
so is that pathetic or what?
